Sunday, February 25

If you really cared...

I hate repeating myself and maybe you just looked over the other post, but if you have my web site posted on your side bar, could you please take it off. THank you.

Tuesday, February 20

What you say is different than what you mean.....

When they say they are going to be there for you in your darkest moment, are they? When they say we will be best friends forever, are they? All what people say is bullshit, all i can believe is actions.
Really really tired,


Life has been going down hill. You can't be friends with that person because your other friend hates her, well that is bullshit. I want to be friends with everyone, i think that i kind of am. THough by doing this they don't really know you but atleast they know how are right, i really don't know any more. Life sucks. To keep me from going down hill, i am going to stick my head in a book when no one is near, i got to read one for english but if you have any ideas tell me.
Thanks for everything world!!

Monday, February 19

i hope......

i hope for two years of my life to go bye-bye...I want peace....i want truth...i want knowledge...
What i get out all of this is just mirror reflection. I am just want the world to know that pain is near all of us but it is really close to me. i am not saying i have the pain of death or anything like that but i have the most pain of friends... I don't want to sound like a complainer, if you think that you are not getting what i am saying.

Today i realised that peace is not going to happen, the truth will not come without seeking, knowledge takes to much time, and my life will be going in slow mow....

I wish for those people closes to me to keep my hopes up, my life in the moment.


Saturday, February 17

No-one is there, they are all gone. What to do, but pull.... There will be no pain, no pain of emptiness, no pain of loss, there will only be peace.

Friday, February 16

My Life "The Sinking Ship"

Ok, if i ever write one of those autobios and i don't get to the title yet give it the title of this post. I have been wanting to get away for awhile now, i just want something good to happen in my life and i have been thinking about what little said that the sun makes you happy. Well, now i have decided when i can and able to i am going to spend at least one weekend down on the islands. I really think i am going to do this when i am college instead of a big spring break, though i have to save my money because i want to go back-packing across Europe too. I know these are big plans but i want to do this.

Lately me little world has been going on full scale war. I have been hit with friends not liking other friends, the friend won't talk to me, and the friend who is nice but really isn't. Other than that life has been ok. Though i have been thinking about my boyfriend situation. I have thought it out and i don't need one but what i do need is a friend that i can talk to and can be there. There are not alot of these though so i don't know what i am going to do. Oh, and another thing is, i have again been searching for private schools for next year and the year after that. I have done this before but i feel like i really need a change of pace. I just can't wait for summer.

Now to my soccer life. Indoor soccer has been good and i got one more season of it and then off to traveling soccer and drama. I am pretty sure they won't interfer but if they do i will just be tech or something for drama. I just really need the practice for soccer, though i am not ready for it(i need to work out).

My Health! Right now i am sick and having to put with the stress of school. These two things don't mix and i am just really close to giving up. Also, my back has been acting up again, i really don't know what to do! My mom says it is in the area of my kidney but i just think it is the scoliosis acting up again.

My TV. TV has alot to do with my life, i think is not helpping school and my mental status. Right now i am to the series of Veronica Mars, it is a really good show. It has made realise alot in my life.

Anything. Right now i am so bored that i wrote this whole thing but i did not get to the thing that was so important that i wanted to post so i will write later.

I love you all, but if you have my blog posted could please take it off. This blog is more like a journal of me just writing, i don't care if you read it and post on it but i only trust the ones that i know that you know that i have this. If you caught any of that thank you.


Tuesday, February 6

I am scared!