Thursday, December 9

Time of the year...

The time of finals is upon us...The truth if you actually learned anything is here...I got 5 major tests to get through. Wish me luck.

Though with test being one of my causes of stress, how people treat each other is another. I don't even want to come home this holiday break, the only reason I will is to see my family.

I can't stand it when people involve a third person or called a middle man into a conversation. I understand a "third person" when that third person has nothing to do with the other but knowing each of them and talking to each other is a problem. What I am saying is that so much gets said and misconstrued that it doesn't come out right or people don't understand the other. I think it is easier to talk to the person you are having a problem with directly and not to make a huge deal about it. I am believer in telling the problem and giving a solution. I don't like being fake to a person, it isn't fair to them or me.

I have a problem. I am depressed. I am sad with all the hate that gets slandered around. I also get upset when I call people, but no one calls me. Though there are times I do get called and it is about problems that I have no idea what to say or I feel like what I say is not being understood correctly, which causes a greater problem.

I guess my solution to my problem is not to talk to anyone but that just makes me sadder. My other solution is just to call people about my good news and nothing about the bad. I just feel lately like no one is there for me.

I am struggling with school as a result of this problem. I just can't think about school when I know people are angry. That is why lately I like to tell people what is on my mind, but I feel like no one is listening or what I am saying doesn't come out right. I guess I don't know what to do.

I just want right now for my friends to be friends, talk about what is making them upset to each other (each person says something) and understand that what is going on is not a big deal and it will be fixed next time. People hear different things all the time, the telephone game fails after so many people. And I get it when people are confused it doesn't help the situation but to talk figures it all out.

I am this: I love everyone. I am confused by what people tell me, so I always say this is what I believe when talking (which I think doesn't get heard all the time). I think about everything more than once, more like 10 times. I hate being hated, I like it when everyone is friends, especially when a problem can be easily fixed. I do get upset when I think being said isn't heard or is not heard the right way, which I should be more clearer. I feel like a problem. I get frustrated easily, when not understanding.

I just hope people can talk and feelings won't be hurt, but that never seems to happen so for that I am sorry.

Sorry for everything. I just don't want to talk for it seems to be a problem.