Calls..

Made two phone calls today. Not sure if any of them were a good call.

I guess calling Hayley didn’t really hurt, I found out she actually did have my sunglasses. I told her she did. No one listens to me-they think I am dumb. Sometimes they can think that but really I am a smart cookie. Though I got Ben’s phone number from her, the one I deleted. I put it back into my phone named PLAYER. After talking to Hayley I realized that my mom had his number too.

It lasted 1:08. I sounded dumb. Shocked that someone answer. Surprised there wasn’t some question, some yelling, anything. It was normal. How stupid am I? Of course it was to be normal, he hadn’t been online yet. I found my voice after awhile. I had before been asking for no one to pick up. I didn’t say hello for awhile, still dazed. I couldn’t believe I was the one making the call. Angry now pluses through me. I shouldn’t have called until later. Now going to the fair tonight will make me look desperate, he is going to be working there. Well so does this blog but this is like a diary that I don’t care that some read others I do.

I need a life other than this blog but I haven’t been home for about 2 weeks. Things add up, you think about things more. It is like Muppets Treasure Island the song Cabin Fever. I just need to be home. I need to get myself back into a routine.

Sorry for the last couple blogs, just needed to get some stuff off of my shoulders. Even though I haven’t fixed anything-I feel better.

Thanks for listening,

Shameful Easy Hidden in the Closet Kandi